i thought he'd never come out.

Ocean turned three years old at approximately 9:46 am today. After his birthday celebrations had subsided we were laying on the couch and I decided to reminisce about his birth. With him.

Me: Ocean, what was it like when you were born?
Ocean: It was just hard.
Me: What was hard about it?
O: Mommy said, "Get out, baby!" and I said, "No no no!" And it just hurt a little bit.
Me: What hurt?
O: My head was stuck and my face was scratches. (scratching his right cheek)
Me: Really? Where were your hands when you were born?
O: Like this. (Covering his face)
Me: How did you feel being born?
O: Cranky. And a little hungry.

Now folks, I have not talked about Ocean's birth with him or in his presence, except to tell him that he used to live in my tummy. I try not to relive it ever. EVER. The only other people who were there during his birth were Phil (who has probably blocked out much of that 28 hours, especially the cursing* and crazy psychotic paranoia**, but I know has not shared details with Ocean either), and medical staff who still reside in North Carolina. So the fact that Ocean's account of his birth is so wildly accurate, even in three-year-old language, is a bit unnerving. Here are the facts that line up with his account:

42 weeks and one day of pregnancy.
28 hours of hard back labor, 24 without an epidural.
Ocean's head got stuck in my pelvis.
He came out with his hands on his face (yowza) and scratches on his nose and cheek from his fingernails.
I'm not sure I actually said, "Get out baby" during labor, but it's highly likely that I made some statement to that effect in the 15 days past my due date.

So you can see that his perception of the way the whole thing went down is spot on. Crazy memory aside, he's now a little older and a little wiser and a lot cuter. (I didn't think it was possible.) Happy birthday, Ocean! Thanks for deciding to finally come out.

*Not just cussing... cursing. Everything that touched me and anyone who came into my room. I was pretty much calling down fire from heaven on everyone and their mom. It was all very Old Testament, except for everyone rolling their eyes at me. And the total lack of fire and/or brimstone.

**About 19 hours in I noticed that Phil and the nurse kept having secret meetings in the hallway. After the third or fourth one I hissed, "I know you're talking about me." Well, duh, you're in labor. "I know. But I just want you to know that I know and I think it's really F***ed up that you're talking about me behind my back." Apparently labor turns me into a pre-adolescent with a filthy mouth. And quite frankly I'm shocked that he didn't call an exorcist at that point. (And so there's a little glimpse, a two minute snippet of a 28 hour stretch, of why we never talk about it.)


Phil said...

We did try calling an exorcist or two, but it was 3 in the morning and they were all off duty...slackers. I am just thankful that it was only Ocean who ended up with scratches on his face.

What a joy this kid has been. I am very thankful!

Becky said...

Wow! I love his account of his birth. And you've never told him any of that? Freaky! This is why I love this age--they have a lot of language, but their minds are so free and associative.

The only similar conversation I ever had with Laura was when she was three or four, and she said before she was born, "I was floating in water, and I started to float away, but you reached me."

Happy Birthday to Ocean!

Jobi Harrell said...

Congratulations Brabbs-ses-es! Wowzer -three years. My, my. It's my cue to begin preparing for 3. Ack! Peace & Blessings in the next year for dear Ocean!

Andrea said...

Happy Birthday Ocean! I said a prayer of blessing for the Little Man yesterday. May there be many more happy years to come!

Cassady said...

Happy Birthday Ocean. Is he going to be a smart one or what!?! Thanks for sharing, Cassie.

Cassie said...

Becky, that's so wild about Laura! And I love this age too. Don't you want to just follow them all over with a video camera all day? They say the weirdest and funniest things.

Thank you for all the birthday wishes for Ocean, everyone!

(Jobi, it's taken me a loooo-ong time to get the 'Brabbses' thing settled in my mind. It always looks so weird.)

tiffany said...

this story sincerely freaks me out.
both because i'm scared of ever giving birth, and also, ARE BABIES SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER THAT?

i choose to believe you had a particularly rough labor, and a psychic child.

when i have a baby, it will slip out easy as pie.


Cassie said...

Oh, most definitely, Tiff... you will feel no contractions whatsoever. At least that's what Ocean just told me. ;)

(I have longer pregnancies and crazier labors than pretty much everyone I know if that makes you feel better.)