my new album: "baby upped the ante"

Song Titles:
"Wide Awake At 3am"
"Screaming in the Sling"
"Did My Right Breast Offend You?"
"Something Smells"
"My Mom Was In Labor For 28 Hours and All I Got Was Her Long Arms"
"Cry It Out... Mom"
"I Only Sleep In the Car"
"Anybody Want a Baby?"


big ol' head

..not exactly what you want to hear about your baby from your OB right before you give birth. We had a check yesterday to make sure Baby is in good position for delivery and they did a quick ultrasound and check on the fetal monitor. The doctor, while doing the ultrasound, said, "Yep, there's a big ol' head, right where it's supposed to be." I'm hoping he was speaking in comparison to an egg. Or a golf ball. Or a marble.


when maternity jeans no longer fit

Yes, I know that I have been wearing the same army green yoga pants every day for the last two weeks. I do wash them every evening, which makes them look as though I've owned them for two years, not two weeks. But they are literally the only thing that fits me now. When I bought them, I thought about getting a second pair but was convinced that the baby would arrive early, thus negating the need for a second pair. I now realize, however, that I was very, very wrong.

When I show up to your birthday party, bat mitzvah or wedding wearing my army green yoga pants, please do not have me thrown out for not honoring the dress code. It's not that I don't WANT to wear something more appropriate, it's just that I no longer have the ability to squeeze into the cute maternity clothes that I used to find so comfy. Trust me, I've tried. And it was very ugly (ask Phil... he won't lie).

My options are limited. It's either my army green yoga pants or Phil's XXL football sweats. But I may have to arm wrestle him for the right to wear them, and I really don't have the energy for that.

So love me, love my army green yoga pants. And believe me when I say that you will not see me in them again after the baby is born... or at least until I can fit into normal clothes again.