and also, i can't figure out why iris smells like curry today.

I have a few more Oceanisms and, to keep it fair and balanced, we'll begin with an Irisism. (Oooh, that was very fun to type.)
Ocean woke up the other morning after Iris had already eaten her first breakfast. I asked Ocean if he wanted some breakfast, and asked Iris if she wanted to help me get it for him. She glared at me, popped her pacifier out of her mouth and, chucking it across the room, screamed, "I hungry too!"
Last night Ocean and I went to the store. When we got out of the car at home I had on my person three grocery bags, my keys, my purse and a collection of random cups and toys that had accumulated in my car. Ocean was holding a receipt and he tried handing it to me to carry for him. "Ocean, you need to carry it. I don't have any more hands," I said. "Ohhhhhhh," he replied knowingly. "Because the birds took them."
Ocean was getting dressed this morning and poked himself in the nipple.
Ocean: I have milk in my breasts to feed Iris.
Me: You don't really have breasts. You have a chest and those are your nipples.
Ocean: And they're full of PEE!
We were sitting on the porch today at lunch time with my friend Amber and her daughter. Phil stopped in for a bit and Ocean was showing him his game of throw the imaginary poopy diaper away. Ocean bumped his arm and said, "Crap! That hurt!" Phil just raised his eyebrow at me in disgust and judgment. All I'm gonna say to that is, people in crap houses full of crap shouldn't throw crap. In other words: pot, meet kettle. (But about 5 minutes later I'm reasonably certain that I accidentally taught Ocean how to deal drugs. So suddenly him saying "crap" doesn't seem so bad.)
And here's a special installment I'll call "I Never Envisioned Myself Saying This, Ever." :
"No, I don't want to smell it, Ocean. Especially if it's 'pppeeeeeeeeeyoooouuuu stinky.'"


march for babies

This Sunday I'm walking in the March of Dimes March For Babies on Nora and Ryan's team. I joined the team a month or so ago but because I'm the biggest procrastinator evah I'm just now posting it here.

I'm going to match donations up to a total of $200, so even if you can only give $5 it will really be like $10.

If you love babies, will you consider making a donation to our team? And if you don't love babies, there's something wrong with you. Seriously. But as a former baby, please consider giving anyway.

Thank you, friends.


hmmm... how to respond?

Gynocologist, after my annual exam: Nice to see you again.

Me: Uhhhhh...

chicago pics


laundry day

Note to self: When the baby eats lentils...

1. Put her in disposable diapers
2. Rinse the cloth diapers thoroughly before laundering
3. Prepare to pick legumes out of the washer all morning.



glutton for punishment

This is what Ocean and I do after the baby is in bed. I just don't know where all his energy comes from, especially at eight o'clock at night.


knock knock

Check out Iris's knock knock joke. And please ignore my messy messy kitchen.

how quickly we forget

I was cleaning out a drawer last night and I found a piece of paper with more Oceanisms from a few weeks ago. I had already forgotten most of them so I'm glad I wrote these down!

***Phil was missing a piece of his computer headset and asked Ocean if he had seen it. Ocean had shoved it into a tiny space somewhere and ran to go get it. Phil gave him a little lecture and Ocean responded with, "Daddy, calm down. Don't be sassy."

***Ocean was playing the "I have to go potty" game with me during nap one day. After the third time of crying wolf I sternly told him that was his last chance and he would just have to wait until he woke up to use the bathroom. He got an inch from my face and said, "You smell angry."

***Ocean and I were cuddling on the floor of his room and I was messing with his hair. He reached up and touched his head and, suddenly quite distressed, exclaimed, "Oh NO! My hair... it's... BLONDE!"

***I have a box of popsicles in the freezer that are reserved for hot days. Ocean is very cognizant of them and nonchalantly tries to finagle them for other occasions. On a particularly chilly day we were sitting on the couch under a blanket. "Whew. I'm hot." Ocean said, throwing the blanket off his lap. "Do you feel okay? Do you need me to turn on the fan?" I asked. "No," he said dramatically, wiping his brow with the back of his hand. "I need a popsicle."

***During a stressful attempt to enforce nap time (we seem to have a lot of those) Ocean raised his eyebrow at me and said, "This is a bad siesta."


chicago is a magical place.

Last weekend I went to Chicago to visit my best friend Lindsay for our birthday gift to ourselves/each other. It. Was. Fabulous.

My friend Jamie made me a mix CD for the trip so on Friday morning I fired that bad boy up, stopped for a super duper gigantic mocha and headed down I-94 with nary a car seat in sight. Ahhhh... freedom. I totally rocked out to Coldplay, Ingrid Michaelson, Barenaked Ladies, Brandi Carlisle and not one but TWO songs from the Once soundtrack for the entire 4 hour drive. Methinks Jamie nailed my taste in music.

I got to Lindsay's place where she was finishing her packing, and I got some play time in with Ayla, who covered me with stickers, and Annabelle... who took one look at me and immediately fell asleep sitting up in her high chair. I'm hella entertaining.

We took the train to our hotel, checked in and decided to do Michigan Ave. We stopped at the Bean and took pictures, because this is what you do when you go to Chicago. We totally lost track of time and had to book it back to our hotel to get ready for Second City. When Lindsay took off her jacket she had one of Ayla's stickers on her back which was freaking adorable. Miraculously we got to Second City early enough to get awesome seats and we straight up laughed for the entire two hour show. It was quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen. And let's just say I fed an olive covered with hummus to a woman dressed as a Russian gymnast as she walked across the bar at which I was sitting. You kinda had to be there.

After Second City and several drinks we went to this great little restaurant called Quartino for tapas and more drinks. It was at this point in the evening that I walked into a revolving door. Twice. It may have been Shiraz-related. Or it may have been klutz-related. Or a combination of the two. I'll let the maître d' be the judge.

On Saturday we had a spa day at Spa Space. Highly recommend it if you're ever in Chicago; Jerry did my massage and Camille did my facial and I wanted to stick both of them in my pocket and bring them home with me. Lindsay's wonderful husband brought us some lunch and some champagne, which we drank once we got back to our hotel. For dinner we went to Karyn's Cooked, which is a fabulous vegan restaurant. After dinner and of course more drinks we pretty much walked around looking for a building with a view of the city. We found a few options but all had crazy wait time so we opted to go back to our hotel. On the walk back we passed a homeless man who basically had the most hilarious quote of the entire weekend. Dude didn't even hit us up for cash... as we walked by him he just said, "Y'all could be jeans models. Both of ya."

We went to bed pretty much right away and woke up the next day, had breakfast and took the train back to Lindsay's house. After a quick walk to the popcorn store to get a bag of Chicago Mix for the family (and a separate bag for my drive home, which my family never knew existed until NOW) I said goodbye to my BFF and her beautiful family and headed back to Meeechigan.

I listened to my new Imogen Heap CD, which I picked up at Borders after the spa on Saturday, all the way home:
"Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit."

Good stuff.

This was the most fun trip I've taken since our beach vacation last September. It had more to do with the company this time than the location... but the location was pretty sweet too. Linds has the photos and as soon as I snag them from her I'll be sure to post them. I just wish I had a picture of the revolving door incident(s).

Thank you again, Linds, for an awesome weekend! And you really could be a jeans model.

happy easter

This picture is totally unrelated to the resurrection but it's hilarious.

Those are not her Thomas the Train underpants, obviously, but she sure does know how to rock 'em.

And here's Ocean telling a story. He likes to "read" from his hands while he makes it up.



I love, love, love the current ages of my kids. I wish I could have a camera crew follow us around all day; it feels like the funny never ends.

***I was wiping Ocean's face after he ate lunch and he said, "You're not supposed to wipe children, mommy. You're supposed to wipe things that I color on."

***Ocean wrote me a letter the other day. I asked him what it said and he 'read' it to me: "Dear Mommy. I love you. You are so smart and pretty. Dear Mommy."

***While hugging me around the neck Ocean said, "Mmmmm, you smell pretty!" I asked him what I smell like and he said, "Pancakes and... [sniff, sniff] strawberries!"

***Ocean has two words that he invented. We've tried to no avail to have him define them, so they've just become funny words that we say when we don't know what else to say. Yesterday I was helping Ocean get dressed and he said, "Coddie?" I replied, "Noooo..." and we said together, "LAYZEROUS!" And then cracked up. Like our own little nonsensical inside joke.

***Iris and I had our first real conversation yesterday while she was sitting at the table eating yogurt. It went like this:

Iris: All done.

(I started to get her out of her chair.)

Iris: Yoogoo. Hoat! [Yogurt. Hold!]

Me: No, you can't hold the yogurt if you want to get down.

Iris: Why?

Me: Because it's too messy.

Iris: Messy?

Me: Yes, messy.

Iris: (thinking)... all done.

And, miracle of miracles, she let me get her down without throwing an elbow to my throat or trying to jack the spoon out of my hand.

Communication is right up there with naps when it comes to having happy toddlers and sane parents.

"Wow, that was really insightful," you're all thinking. I should definitely write a parenting book.



oral fixation 101

Our small group at church is chock-full of brand new nursing babies. At our meeting last month Ocean was having a hard time being with the other kids (we have a babysitter so the grown-ups can actually have a discussion) and so he was sitting next to me on the couch amidst the adults.

Out of the blue Ocean leaned over and whispered, "Mommy, I want to drink some milk from your breast."

I was trying desperately not to crack up, and not really succeeding. "Ocean, I don't have any milk in my breasts anymore," I managed to whisper back.

"Oh. Well then I just want to suck on your finger."

My kids are so weird.

FYI: No, I've never let him suck on my fingers before, and he's never asked before, and other than a couple of thumb-sucking buddies (their OWN, not someone else's) he's never seen any finger-sucking as far as I know so I don't know where he got that. Just so we're all clear.


it's april 6th for crying out loud.

I am still practically comatose in a good way after a fun-filled spa weekend in Chicago with my BFF. I will update with photos and a recap of the weekend soon, but in the mean time I just wanted to show you all what I woke up to this morning:

Sorry about the weird angle but I was really trying to get a picture of the park across the street without stepping onto the porch. It's frickin' freezing out there after all.

I'll close with a funny story. Last week I was looking at the grocery ads and commented that Ataulfo Mangoes were on sale. Phil was passing by and exclaimed, "Oooh! I love flamingoes." It makes it funnier that I'm not sure if he was joking.

Hope everyone here is enjoying the snow as much as I am (I'm not) and if you live elsewhere and don't get snow storms in April please tell me how that feels.


oh my. a must-read.

This was posted on my friend Heather's Facebook page. Click on the article below to read it.