When one has taken Nyquil, the words crustacean and eustachian sound very similar and one might spend a lot of time thinking about how they could be easily interchanged and how funny it would be if your doctor said something like Your crustacean is inflamed. Then later, when the Nyquil fog has worn off and one goes to blog about it, they might realize that it's not really that funny.
So instead here are my favorite quotes of the week.
At the park: "I learned a very valuable lesson, mom. If you jump off a swing you could land on your face."
At Mother's Day brunch: "You have something on your shirt. I noticed it while I was checking out your boobs."
On the phone: "Yeah, but Los Angeles was full of crazy people. You have to remember that there's no one out here in Clearwater but Scientologists."
Happy Hump Day, friends.