i am trying to be brave.

The hard drive on my computer crashed.

I'm trying not to throw up until I find out just what, if anything, can be salvaged since I'm the genius that didn't back anything up. (Videos and photos from the births of my kids until now, important church/ministry documents... my CVS SPREADSHEETS!)

If you're a praying person, please plead for mercy on my behalf.

And please excuse me for the next few days until my hard drive is replaced; it's too hard to blog from an iPhone.

Smooches.

this has nothing to do with anything. unless you're a lobster. or an ear. i guess.

When one has taken Nyquil, the words crustacean and eustachian sound very similar and one might spend a lot of time thinking about how they could be easily interchanged and how funny it would be if your doctor said something like Your crustacean is inflamed. Then later, when the Nyquil fog has worn off and one goes to blog about it, they might realize that it's not really that funny.

So instead here are my favorite quotes of the week.

At the park: "I learned a very valuable lesson, mom. If you jump off a swing you could land on your face."

At Mother's Day brunch: "You have something on your shirt. I noticed it while I was checking out your boobs."

On the phone: "Yeah, but Los Angeles was full of crazy people. You have to remember that there's no one out here in Clearwater but Scientologists."

Happy Hump Day, friends.

i don't even have a speech prepared...

The amazing Bex bestowed this super-rad award upon my blog. See how shiny?

So now I'm supposed to tag seven other insanely wonderful (wonderfully insane?) folks and then we all write ten things about ourselves. Sounds like fun, eh?

Here are the official-ish rules:
You must write a post saying that you received this prestigious award and link back to me so everyone knows I think you're the bestest. Choose seven blogs that you love and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with “Honest Weblog.” Then, in your blog, list ten honest things about yourself.

Here are my award winners:
1. Andrea at The Good Life
2. Amy at Matron Down Under
3. Steph at Grace x2
4. SuperTiff
5. Jobi at My Life As Me
6. Amy at Roboranch
7. Cassady at Healthy Economic Savings

And now for my ten things. Ahem...

1. I drink whole milk. I love it.
2. Phil and I didn't get married because we were in love. (And no, we weren't pregnant either, smart-ass.) We got married because we had the same values and goals for our lives. And Phil recently revealed that he married me because he knew I wouldn't let him be a slacker at life in general. Damn straight. Apparently according to our pre-marital compatibility tests we are one of the most compatible couples in the universe. You'd never know it by the way we bicker.
3. I would sleep until 10:00 each morning if I could. Instead I have to get up at butt-thirty every day.
4. My brother is a Scientologist and he just quit his job to go work for the Church of Scientology and I really haven't talked to him in a very long time and I'm kind of worried. So if you hear from him let me know. Wow, that wasn't really a fact about me at all.
5. I love going to dinner and the movies by myself.
6. In high school I was the the psycho jealous girlfriend. (Sorry high school boyfriend.) Now I am the wife who encourages guys nights and would pay money to hear her husband say another woman is attractive. (He won't.)
7. I love my kids so much that it physically hurts me sometimes.
8. And other times I want to send them to live with their grandparents.
9. I think my feet are pretty attractive. You know, as feet go. Maybe because they are the only part of me that didn't change (too much) after having babies.
10. I played with Barbies until I was 14 years old.

Okay supa-seven! It's your turn...

are we still talking about houses?

Our house has been on the market for what feels like eleventy months. We're averaging about two showings a week now which is good, right? WRONG. I'll send my children to your house for a day and you can see just how clean it stays.

We don't exactly need to sell it; we love our neighborhood and our location. And of course we love the house. But we have this crazy dream of buying a lot of land with some friends and making our own neighborhood. Plus, in the long run it's probably wise to be rid of our current house so we're trying to see if we get any bites. So far lots of nibbles, no takers.

In the mean time though I've had my sights set on this beauty:

It's a 100 year old farm house on 107 acres. It has a couple of barns and a couple of other out buildings and I lurve it. It's also right across the street from some good friends of ours. Phil says something to the effect of Yeah, we could just tear it down and...

And I had an aneurysm.

Me: You don't just tear down a gorgeous hundred year old farmhouse! You renovate it. You don't do your thing and tear it down.

Phil: I like tearing things down.

Me: See, this is just another example of how I'm like Jesus*. Jesus is all about renovation, rehabilitation and restoration my friend.

Phil: No, the fire burns away the imperfections. Burns. Destroys. Then we build a new house.

Me: No, Isaiah, actually the fire of which you speak is a purification whereby the bad shit is burned away and the entire person emerges cleansed and whole. Or you might say, renovated.

Phil: But we're new creations in Christ. The old has gone, THE NEW HAS COME.

Me: But you're in the same body, dude. You look exactly the same on the outside. It's just your spirit that has been gutted. So to speak.

Phil: Whatever. That house is built on sand and it must come down!

Me: You're the antichrist.

Phil: That's the nicest thing you've said to me all month.

*I'm not at all like Jesus. I just like Phil to think I am** when we argue.

**I'm not fooling anyone.

notable notes

I've been racking my brain trying to think of something worth writing about lately, but there's just not much happening 'round these here parts. Which is a good thing when you consider the last five years of my life. So I figured I'd do a random round-up of the last week's most notable notes.

Notable Note #1:
I found Orla Kiely! My Target had been seriously lacking in O.K. merch, but I check every time I go, just in case. And look! Look at what I found!

They coordinate perfectly with my oh-so-adorable tea towels that I won over at Becky's. I now drink four different cups of coffee a day. Hahaha... haha........ ha... ahem.

Notable Note #2:
Yesterday I sliced my thumb open whilst attempting to pull the pit out of an avocado. I've done that little trick for years and this is the first time I stabbed myself instead of the pit. I clearly remember a moment where I thought I might die. (But also it's plausible that I tend to over-react a little bit in situations such as this, so my account may be slightly unreliable.) Since this is the first time I've ever been stabbed I wondered, How does one know if one should go get stitches after being stabbed? I decided to wait it out and I'm glad I did because it turns out that a Band-Aid is doing the trick just fine. So my advice is, if you ever get stabbed, skip the long line at the Emergency Room. Band-Aids, dude.

Notable Note #3 through #903:
I took like 900 pregnancy tests last week even though I knew there was no possible way I could be pregnant. But when you're 27 days late it's like, I dunno, could I just have forgotten or something? It turns out weight loss can prevent ovulation which can make you miss a period. (There's your lady parts lesson for today.) And I definitely have lost weight, albeit unintentionally. All the stress has not been good for me. But the cookies are helping me pack the pounds back on. (Thanks, cookies!)

Notable Note #904:
Ducky.

Notable Note #905:
I have a lot of really cool people in my life. Really cool. I have a hard time keeping up with everyone and everything but I am very appreciative of my f r i e n d s. (If you didn't get a letter, it just means I ran out of letters. Or I don't know your blog address. Or you don't have one. Which means you need to get with the program, slacker. I mean, if you're reading this you can pretty much be assured that you're really cool. Seriously, love you.)

Notable Note #906:
What is the line between letting kids be kids (destroy stuff) and teaching them to respect their belongings (not destroy stuff)? I tend to err on the side of the former but I'm wondering if that's not entirely as cool as I originally thought. In other words I've been cleaning a lot of crayon off the walls lately.

Notable Note #907:
My kids have swine flu. I mean a cold. Or allergies or something. Actually I'm not entirely sure what it is, I just know there's lots of snot and whining and naughtiness. Naughtiness is a symptom of swine flu, right? (I'm just kidding, CDC, we really don't have swine flu. Please allow me to continue my delayed vax schedule. Danke.)

So, that's all the news that's fit to print (or non-news, as the case may be definitely is). Hope you guys are all healthy and happy.

we have a new porch pet. apparently.

Ducky. The Squirrel.

I kid you not.

He's been visiting us every day on the porch. It turns out he likes cereal. And responds to commands such as Get Out, Come Get Some Cereal and I Don't Think So, Bro. And my kids like him enough to name him after their favorite stuffed animals/lovey-things.

As long as he stays outside we shouldn't have any problems.

squirrely

I had a squirrel in my house today. This squirrel to be precise.

The kids were asleep, the door to our porch was open and I was inside, sprawled on the sofa enjoying the breeze when I heard a little scurrying sound. I peeked around the arm of the couch and locked eyes with this brazen little dude who was chillin' in my kitchen, about three feet from me like, Oh, hello. Didn't see you there.

We stared at each other for a few seconds before I pointed at the door and yelled, "GET OUT!" He rolled his eyes at me and waddled back out the way he came. I grabbed my camera off the counter to get this picture of him on the porch.

Moments later I was walking past the door again and he was sitting there, looking in at me. Aren't you gonna invite me in?

"Dude, seriously, go," I mouthed through the glass.

"Fine. Whatever."

This is the most kick-ass squirrel I've ever met. I think I might leave him a bagel tonight.