the 9th beatitude

"Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed."

I live my life one day at a time and happily accept surprises and uninvited treasures that come my way. Rarely do I expect much from other people; a little common courtesy and politeness is usually more than enough to satisfy me. But there are days and moments when I am blindsided by personal disappointment brought on by an unmet expectation that I didn't realize I had. How do I respond? My natural, carnal instinct is to tell myself that it doesn't matter and to deny my true hurt over the situation. But inevitably this leads to resentment and bitterness which is just too heavy a load for me to carry.

Sometimes I wish I could go through life, truly never expecting anything from anyone, being thankful for the things I do have. But as Dame Edith Evans said, "I can't imagine going on when there are no more expectations." Keeping the bar so low for people scares me... I want to have faith in the human race, believing that we really do want to make others' lives a little brighter.

I guess the only answer is to be the kind of spouse, friend and family member that I wish to have. "A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the 'why' for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any 'how'." -Victor Frankl