my apologies

I'd like to apologize to society in general for being an obnoxious teenager once in my life. I find it difficult to believe that my friends and I were ever as silly as the three girls in Blockbuster tonight... and yet somehow I have visions of us drawing attention to ourselves in every public place that we visited. Sure, it was fun at the time... but now I understand with much greater clarity the stares and glares of, well, pretty much everyone.

Tonight, I was the mean pregnant woman in line behind them, tapping my foot and clearing my throat while the booty-shorts wearing giggle twits tried to decide whether they wanted like two bags of gummi worms or like one bag of gummi worms and one bag of Skittles. The fact that their queen bee notified me that she would only be like another 26 seconds didn't make up for the 7.5 minutes I had already sacrificed to the candy gods. The other 5 people in line behind me were even less amused... and the poor cashier. He actually mouthed "I'm sorry" to me while they were trying to figure out how much money they would save by buying the Twizzlers instead of the Skittles.

I made a well thought out and not at all rash decision during that 7.76 minutes that if and when I have daughters they will not be allowed to have friends. Problem solved.

And I really am sorry, society. Truly I am.

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