At Kroger: "You may never, ever leave a store while I'm paying. You all know better! Hey! Are you listening? Get your arm out of that gum ball machine NOW and put your shoes back on."
"Repeat after me: Tampons aren't toys."
At the park:
"Stop licking that baby! That's not your baby. He can lick his own baby
sister but you may not. We don't lick other people's baby sisters."