sauced

We were driving to our friends' house this evening. Just to paint you a picture, Ocean and Iris sit in the third row and Ruby is in the second row. I was in the passenger seat and Phil was driving. We grown ups were chatting and things were fairly quiet from the peanut gallery in the back when suddenly something flew from the back of the car, sailing past my head and splattering against the windshield, showering me with wet, cold grossness.

I screeched, "What the hell?!" and looked over at Phil. His eyes were huge. I examined a blob of goo on my arm and determined quickly that it was applesauce. It was all over the side of my face and down the front of my shirt, and of course it covered the dashboard. By this time Phil was saying something to the kids but I interrupted, "No. NO. Pull this car over NOW."

Phil pulled into the first driveway he saw, which happened to be a day care center at pick-up time. I hope it doesn't make me a terrible parent that I thought at that instant, "Oh man. This means I can't really yell at them like I want to."

I opened my door, grabbing a pack of wipes on my way out, and sprang around to the other side of the car. I opened the door and proceeded to give them the weirdest lecture I've ever given to date. While covered in applesauce.

When apologies were said (many times over) and I had cleaned myself up to the best of my ability (with a few wipes and an old sippy cup of water-- let's hear it for never cleaning out my vehicle) I got back in the car and looked at Phil, shaking my head. We both sat there for a second in silence when I realized how ridiculous this whole thing was and we quickly covered our mouths so the kids wouldn't hear us cracking up. I slumped down in my seat and mouthed again, "What the hell?!" Phil whispered, "I just can't believe they threw applesauce. Who does that?"

I mean, it's not like I've never wanted to throw a full cup of applesauce across three seats in a moving vehicle. But there's a time and a place, tiny people. There's a time and place.