10.08.2009

a modern day fairy tale to send you off into your weekend.

When two people who've been married for five years and make pretty adorable children together and like each other enough most of the time have a cancer crisis and need to make decisions around what to do once chemotherapy probably sterilizes one of them, they do what any rational, not mentally ill people would do.



Half of you are probably thinking, "Hooray!" And the other half are probably thinking, "Hooray but... what the hell is wrong with you?!" So to answer your questions: Yes, we are crazy. No, in fact I do not know what I'm doing. Yes, we have thought about the long term and short term problems that this may present. No, a fear of the future cannot and will not rob us of our present joy.

It's sad that I feel like I need to defend this choice, but it comes because I've already had to do it a few times. So just to put to rest any doubt or worry that anyone may have about how we'll manage with everything we have going on, let me explain.

It is a luxury to sit down and have a discussion with your spouse about if and when to have the next baby. It must be fun to have a few months or a year to plan it, time it just right and execute said plan. That, however, is a luxury we just didn't have. We're still very young. We knew we weren't done having children. Those who know us well know we've wanted to adopt but that option became highly unlikely with an incurable cancer diagnosis. The doctors said treatment in a month so bank your sperm. We said let's give it a shot this month. And it worked out. And even though the timing may seem less than ideal to some, we are elated. Because the baby will be coming at a time when Phil will be on the upswing from his transplant. Because no matter what happens, we will never, ever regret having a third child. And because, really, who wouldn't want another one of these?


So I'll be 12 weeks on Saturday and I've known for eight whole weeks now! Which is why I haven't been posting much because I'd probably give it away with all the "Barfing Again" and "I'm soooooooo tired I could just zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..." Honestly, though, I've been feeling very well considering the stress, and being at the beach for the two roughest weeks was a major plus. (Thanks, Mom and Dad!)

There are several of you out there whom I haven't yet seen in order to tell in person and for that I apologize. Let's just say I'm at the point where hiding it is nearly impossible and I actually had a nurse at the hospital on Tuesday declare, "Oh wow! You're pregnant!" (I guess my philosophy of not making assumptions about pregnancy until the baby is actually crowning isn't universal.) So I hope this will remove some of the awkward Is she pregnant or did she just eat a HUGE breakfast internal debate you would be having with yourself the next time you saw me. You're welcome.

Lots of love to you all, and lots of baby updates to come I'm sure. Should we get a gender poll going?

28 comments:

Jill said...

I said it before, I'll say it a million times again....CONGRATULATIONS YOU TWO!! Two people couldn't be more perfect to raise another one of God's blessings!!

Much love~ From us to you :)

Dennis said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! You two are amazing and God will get you through it all. We will be praying for everything!!!
With much love, The Boydstuns

Baj Family said...

AWESOME!!!

paula.gessert said...

Congratulations! That's amazing! May God richly bless this decision/situation and may He shut the mouths of naysayers :-)

We'll be praying.

Paula and Gus Gessert

Meliss said...

Your sister will be thrilled to be an aunt again! Don't let any Debbie Downers take away the joy God put in every woman to have a child. Congrats to both of you!

ElaWilson said...

Congratulations, you guys!

Balazers said...

WooHoo!!!! Bring on another squirt! I'm predicting this one will be a brunette... ahh, not really. I love you guys!!

Jennifer said...

You are not crazy at all. We wanted the same thing and we weren't as lucky. However, modern science, a lot of shots and determination blessed us with a little one a little less than 2 years ago. Congrats. Besides, you can puke together:) And my husband compared my pregnancy to going through chemo. Moody, tired, and nausea. What a great combo. Good luck with everything.

John said...

Congratulations!

Jilly said...

GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!

Todd said...

Congratulations! Oh, and crazy is the only way to live, everything else is just boring!

Jeanine Bartholomay said...

FANTASTIC news. The Lord obviously wanted this to happen as much as you did. He is working in your lives and will walk with you through every single thing in the coming months. May the Lord bless you all.

Ellen Colberg said...

CONGRATS! I am so happy for you!

tiffany said...

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! :)

tim's wife said...

Beautiful! Simply meant to be.
Much more fun achieving this the old fashioned way anyhow 'stead of in the test tube.
I remember those puky days well.
Hope it's wrapping up. Congrats!!!!!

Miranda said...

Congratulations! I have a lot of family and friends in the military and similar discussions happen when deployment across the world is imminent. I've found that situations like this help you focus on making choices you don't regret, regardless of the future. Say "Hi!" to the wee one for me, lol.

Amy McKenna said...

I am so excited to be going through another pregnancy with my buddy Cassie! Congrats and I hope the nausea lessens as the weeks progress! :)

Lesli said...

Huge Congrats!!!!!!! Can't wait to see what the name will be! Hugs, Lesli

Sarah said...

Congratulations!! I am soooo happy for you! Prayers for everyone and lots of mommy-friend love! <3 ;0D

keri m said...

Hooray for you guys! I heard those banks aren't giving the greatest rates right now anyway...

Becky said...

I am so excited for you! Having three is crazy, but fantastic! And since you already have the crazy part down, why not add the fantastic ;)

Cassie said...

Thanks for all the positive, encouraging words everyone!

Jennifer, good for you guys! I've never had chemo but I imagine it's like the closest thing to being pregnant. Nausea, exhaustion... not fun. But like pregnancy, there's a huge payoff at the end that makes it all worth it.

Miranda, great point. I'm sure there are many who have had to make similar decisions and I totally agree that there's a clarity that comes with having to decide immediately. The truly important things rise to the surface.

Amy, yay! =)

Charlotte gang... I miss you girls! XOXO

Keri, HAHAHAAAAAA! I bet you're right. The recession hurts EVERYONE.

DJINFL said...

Cassie, wanted to give you hope. My 84 yr old dad is in remission from MM after six months on the revlimid - he tolerated it well and had no terrible side effects. Even the dex wasn't too bad although he got a little hopped up :) Hoping for the same for Phil.We are still continuing with the infusions for now. Blessings to you and your growing family!

Baby steps to where we want to be said...

CONGRATS!!! cant wait for the adorable baby name... yall are great baby namers!!! love yall

Joy said...

cassie brabbs! it is joy (rawlings) thomas. your mom sent my mom the mm blog address and i got here from there. just want to say i am now a shameless blog stalker of yours. we are excited for your #3! mom had told me and i immediately understood. i think maybe you have to have kids to get it. how awesome! mom also told me the day phil started treatment and we prayed for you all. now we can know the news first hand. thanks for your candor and humor on both sites. ocean and iris are beautiful and i love the list of funnies from them. we're convinced the boy-girl order is the best one-two punch. ours are 2.5 and 8 mos now. much love to you!

Aviva said...

I'm a total stranger (who's been following the MM blog and then found my way here), but I wanted to say congratulations! Not that your husband didn't already have plenty to live for, but yet another motivation to fight for survival has to be a good thing, right?

Blessings to you and your family.

Amy said...

So I am way late on this, but congratulations!! What great news! You will love having 3.

Roobeedoo said...

Oh my - that is beautiful news. I wasn't so lucky and thought it must be down to my husband's MM. Time someone did the research and got it out there!