Perhaps I should be flattered that every time I leave the room, Iris starts screaming. Not crying, but more of a shrill, ear-piercing, peel paint off the walls type of banshee scream.
Great, she misses me.
I might be able to deal with that alone, except that when Iris begins her crescendo Ocean chimes in with a, "NOOOOOOOOO IRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!" at the top of his mighty lungs. This, in turn, causes Iris to startle, and she begins to actually cry. Ocean hates to see his sister cry, so he starts wailing, "NO CRY, IRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!" The louder he yells, the louder she screams. The louder she screams, the more he yells. My 16 second bathroom break turns into the likes of a playroom prison riot and my eardrums feel like they might start to bleed.
Maybe one of these days, with a little luck, I might actually go deaf.
Keeping my fingers crossed.