little things

Okay, first of all: I just want to update those of you who actually read my blogs. Phil and I are back in Charlotte after a week-long trip to Michigan. Phil's 22 month old nephew passed away unexpectedly last week so we went back to be with family. It's been difficult knowing how to grieve something so confusing and sudden. I'm sure it's never easy, but it's particularly tough for me, as a new mother, to grasp.

In that vein, I've come to be thankful for little things and have eased up on my expectations for myself as a mother. After all, I have a very lovely, very healthy son who loves to give me kisses lately, apparently likes to eat wads of paper, and he woke up this morning. So that in and of itself should be enough to help me overcome my aversion to supplementing his diet with formula or bemoaning the fact that it takes him up to an hour to fall asleep. Suddenly I am no longer sad that Ocean eats more formula than breastmilk. Suddenly the fact that he wants to be held all. day. long. is no longer a burden to me. Suddenly I don't mind being woken up by a cry in the middle of the night... because I'm just thankful to hear him cry.

Experiences in life don't happen to you; they become part of who you are. I hope that this changes me in a good way. I hope I will be a better mother knowing how short life is, and that tomorrow isn't a guarantee.

Okay, I'm off to watch a sleeping baby. Maybe he'll wake up so I can steal some more kisses.

Edited to add: I really have no problem with formula. Obviously, because I use it. My problem was more with the fact that breastfeeding has been such a struggle that I've had to resort to using formula instead of being able to supply all of my baby's nutrition myself. Certainly don't want to offend other formula feeders! Okay, now back to the regularly scheduled blog...

a fairy tale

Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess
happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess's lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself:

I don't freakin think so.

things i love today

I love wearing clothes that don't wear me. I can't stand it when I have to constantly "think about" what I have on. I loved my outfit today for that reason.

I love conspiracy theories. If you do too check out 911truth.org.

I love Ocean. He's getting so big and I can tell he loves me too and he really really misses me when we're not together. It's sweet.

I love nursing bras. Honestly. I'm not sure if it was the picture of Angelina Jolie on the cover of People magazine that changed my mind but by gosh I'm okay with my clasps poking out of my tank top now.

I love Burt's Bees. We've made the switch. No more parabens or sulfates for me or my family, thank you very much. Next thing to get replaced is the makeup but that will be a much more expensive undertaking.

I love football season. I walked in the house tonight to the sound of the Michigan State/Notre Dame game on the television and I was overcome with such great memories...

I love sleep. Which is why I'm signing off and going to bed.

an open letter

To the lead singer of the band who played at Buckhead on Saturday night:

Your band is comprised of some great, extremely talented musicians. However, we decided to leave after the third song. Mainly because we decided our time would be better spent getting home to our son.

Yes, that's right, I am a mother. Which is reason #358 why no, I do not want to "show my titties". If you were offering, say, TWO free CDs instead of just one, well then we might have a deal. For $15 no. For $30... maybe.

Being that your band (what was the name of it, again?) displayed phenomenal musicianship leaves me in this tension because, while I appreciated your Guns n' Roses cover, I did not appreciate the 27 F-bombs it took to explain which song you were going to do. Come to think of it, I'm still not sure which song it was. Effin' ef, effers.

And your rendition of Buckcherry's "Crazy Bitch" was just kick you in the crotch, spit on your neck fantastic. And not at all demeaning to the 43 year old woman in the front row who you kept trying to get to lift her shirt after many failed attempts with the few remaining women on the dance floor. Did you even give her her free CD?

In addition to your extensive vocabulary of cusses and ability to piss off every woman in the crowd, I was amazed at how good you were at clearing the dance floor in less than 10 minutes. I guess no one wants to see a cover band getting drunk on stage and acting like they are real rock stars. Go figure.

So thanks for a complete waste of a perfectly great Saturday night. You were an absolute buzzkill... and I wasn't even drinking.

Love,
The girl who now knows why Buckhead charged a cover on Saturday night. So their bar wouldn't completely empty out when the patrons realized what a tool you were.

making the connection

From an article entitled "What About Grass Fed Beef?" on The Food Revolution:

"The cruelties of modern factory farming are so severe that you don't have to be a vegetarian or an animal rights activist to find the conditions to be intolerable, and a violation of the human-animal bond."

"Confronting the brutal realities of modern slaughterhouses can be a harsh reminder that those who contemplate only the pastoral image of cattle patiently foraging do not see the whole picture."

repeat after me

"To be a vegetarian is to disagree... with the course of things today. Starvation, world hunger, cruelty, waste, wars- we must make a statement against these things. Vegetarianism is my statement. And I think it's a strong one." - Chef / restauranteur Alice Waters

why i am happy

1. Three of my friends are currently pregnant and expecting within a couple weeks of each other. One of these friends wants to have a natural birth and breastfeed. Give me 10 minutes with the other two and they will also.

2. My friends came over today and shared some yummy cuisine and many giggles. I appreciate my friendships.

3. Ocean said "Mama" this weekend for the first time. He doesn't know what it means... but I do. And it makes my heart smile.

who is chris brow?

So I received this email from a girl browsing a website that sells my CD:

HEY CASSIE I LOVE YOU SONGS I WOULD LOVE IF YOU WOULD RIGHT BACK TOO.YOU SONGS MAKE I SEEM LIKE YOU AREALL COO PERSON IF SO I WANT TO AT LEASE WRITE A NOTE TO YOU. I AM HONORED TO HAVE THIS CHANCE TO WRITE YOU. AN OHH YEAH I REALLY LOVE THE SONG CALL YOU OUT AN JUST FIENDS I HOPE YOU MAKE VIDEOS FOR THOSE.

AN A NOTHER THANG I THINK YOU AN CHRIS BROW WOULD MAKE A GOOD COUPLE.

Immediately followed by this email:

IM SOOOOOOOO SORRY I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CASSIE THATS SING THOSE R&B SONGS SO ERASE ALL THOSE THOUGHT OUT YOU HEAD AN THANK YOU GOD BLESS.

So what you're saying is, you don't love my songs, I'm not areall coo person, and Chris Brow and I would NOT make a good couple?? Well, Pfffff.