i must have pissed off the christmas decoration gods.
I always- I mean ALWAYS- wait until after Thanksgiving to put up my holiday decorations, you guys. Maybe it's the snow on the ground. Maybe it's the idea that Ocean will actually "get it" this year. Whatever the reason, I got all hopped up on hot chocolate and Christmas music and decided it was TIME.
First we lugged the tree up from the basement. This is our first artificial tree. We purchased it last year at Home Depot for $14 after Christmas. Huge. Phil cracked open the box and we got it set up in about a half hour. Not too shabby. Then the real fun started.
I went back to the basement to find our bins of decorations. I knew for sure there were two. However, I could only find one. Hmmm... since we've had four different addresses and two storage units since the last time we used them there's no telling where on earth (or in Charlotte, Ypsilanti or Ann Arbor) it is. Whatever... I figured we'd just string the lights and put up what we have. Except for one small problem. The lights were NOT in the bin that we had in front of us. Crappity crap crap crap. Off to Target I went at 8:45pm.
I was wise enough to check the sarcophagus to see what else we were missing, and made a mental note to pick up a tree skirt and some beads or garlands of some sort. But that's where the smarts ended, my friends.
I was gabbing away on my phone with Jessica, planning our midnight CVS run tomorrow and I grabbed two boxes of lights. Score. I also found two snazzy glass bead garlands. Awesome. Picked up a tree skirt, a roll of ribbon and a box of solid red ornaments and I was on my way. Got home and pulled the lights out of the bag, telling Phil, "I got two boxes of lights. They're 4 feet by 6 feet... wait. WHAT?" That's right... I bought a net made out of lights. The kind you drape over your bushes. NOT the kind that go on Christmas trees. I swore a little bit. Okay, a lot. Grabbed my keys and headed to CVS at 9:42pm.
I managed to get the correct lights this time. I did realize on the way there that I could have thrown together a deal to get them a lot lot lot cheaper but I also knew they would be closing in minutes so it is what it is, folks. I spent actual money at CVS. The shame.
Got the lights home and Phil put them on the tree. Fabulous. He was tired and decided to go to bed whilst I decorated. I poured myself a mug of hot chocolate and got to work. I opened the new garlands and realized that they were waaaaaay too short to make it even halfway up the tree. Add those to the return bag with the stupid net lights. Opened the ribbon and started to wrap the tree. Do you know that 25 feet of ribbon barely makes it around a 7 foot tree three times? TWENTY-FIVE FREAKING FEET. More cussing and a mental note to buy more ribbon when I return that other crap.
I opened up my ornaments and started placing them. As I was hanging the 4th bulb, I got all butterfingers and dropped it. It seemed to be falling in slow motion. I watched as it bounced off 3 branches and hit the side of the couch. I stuck my hand out to catch it and ended up swatting it down instead... right into the maple floor.
If I didn't have two kids who eat everything they find on the floor I would have left the mess for tomorrow. But I grabbed the broom and cleaned up the shards, wondering the whole time what the heck kind of curse I had called down upon myself for putting up my Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving. If anyone knows how to undo the voodoo that I have done, please let me know.
Just as long as it doesn't involve going BACK to Target or CVS tonight.