notable notes

I've been racking my brain trying to think of something worth writing about lately, but there's just not much happening 'round these here parts. Which is a good thing when you consider the last five years of my life. So I figured I'd do a random round-up of the last week's most notable notes.

Notable Note #1:
I found Orla Kiely! My Target had been seriously lacking in O.K. merch, but I check every time I go, just in case. And look! Look at what I found!

They coordinate perfectly with my oh-so-adorable tea towels that I won over at Becky's. I now drink four different cups of coffee a day. Hahaha... haha........ ha... ahem.

Notable Note #2:
Yesterday I sliced my thumb open whilst attempting to pull the pit out of an avocado. I've done that little trick for years and this is the first time I stabbed myself instead of the pit. I clearly remember a moment where I thought I might die. (But also it's plausible that I tend to over-react a little bit in situations such as this, so my account may be slightly unreliable.) Since this is the first time I've ever been stabbed I wondered, How does one know if one should go get stitches after being stabbed? I decided to wait it out and I'm glad I did because it turns out that a Band-Aid is doing the trick just fine. So my advice is, if you ever get stabbed, skip the long line at the Emergency Room. Band-Aids, dude.

Notable Note #3 through #903:
I took like 900 pregnancy tests last week even though I knew there was no possible way I could be pregnant. But when you're 27 days late it's like, I dunno, could I just have forgotten or something? It turns out weight loss can prevent ovulation which can make you miss a period. (There's your lady parts lesson for today.) And I definitely have lost weight, albeit unintentionally. All the stress has not been good for me. But the cookies are helping me pack the pounds back on. (Thanks, cookies!)

Notable Note #904:
Ducky.

Notable Note #905:
I have a lot of really cool people in my life. Really cool. I have a hard time keeping up with everyone and everything but I am very appreciative of my f r i e n d s. (If you didn't get a letter, it just means I ran out of letters. Or I don't know your blog address. Or you don't have one. Which means you need to get with the program, slacker. I mean, if you're reading this you can pretty much be assured that you're really cool. Seriously, love you.)

Notable Note #906:
What is the line between letting kids be kids (destroy stuff) and teaching them to respect their belongings (not destroy stuff)? I tend to err on the side of the former but I'm wondering if that's not entirely as cool as I originally thought. In other words I've been cleaning a lot of crayon off the walls lately.

Notable Note #907:
My kids have swine flu. I mean a cold. Or allergies or something. Actually I'm not entirely sure what it is, I just know there's lots of snot and whining and naughtiness. Naughtiness is a symptom of swine flu, right? (I'm just kidding, CDC, we really don't have swine flu. Please allow me to continue my delayed vax schedule. Danke.)

So, that's all the news that's fit to print (or non-news, as the case may be definitely is). Hope you guys are all healthy and happy.

we have a new porch pet. apparently.

Ducky. The Squirrel.

I kid you not.

He's been visiting us every day on the porch. It turns out he likes cereal. And responds to commands such as Get Out, Come Get Some Cereal and I Don't Think So, Bro. And my kids like him enough to name him after their favorite stuffed animals/lovey-things.

As long as he stays outside we shouldn't have any problems.

squirrely

I had a squirrel in my house today. This squirrel to be precise.

The kids were asleep, the door to our porch was open and I was inside, sprawled on the sofa enjoying the breeze when I heard a little scurrying sound. I peeked around the arm of the couch and locked eyes with this brazen little dude who was chillin' in my kitchen, about three feet from me like, Oh, hello. Didn't see you there.

We stared at each other for a few seconds before I pointed at the door and yelled, "GET OUT!" He rolled his eyes at me and waddled back out the way he came. I grabbed my camera off the counter to get this picture of him on the porch.

Moments later I was walking past the door again and he was sitting there, looking in at me. Aren't you gonna invite me in?

"Dude, seriously, go," I mouthed through the glass.

"Fine. Whatever."

This is the most kick-ass squirrel I've ever met. I think I might leave him a bagel tonight.

and also, i can't figure out why iris smells like curry today.

I have a few more Oceanisms and, to keep it fair and balanced, we'll begin with an Irisism. (Oooh, that was very fun to type.)
***
Ocean woke up the other morning after Iris had already eaten her first breakfast. I asked Ocean if he wanted some breakfast, and asked Iris if she wanted to help me get it for him. She glared at me, popped her pacifier out of her mouth and, chucking it across the room, screamed, "I hungry too!"
***
Last night Ocean and I went to the store. When we got out of the car at home I had on my person three grocery bags, my keys, my purse and a collection of random cups and toys that had accumulated in my car. Ocean was holding a receipt and he tried handing it to me to carry for him. "Ocean, you need to carry it. I don't have any more hands," I said. "Ohhhhhhh," he replied knowingly. "Because the birds took them."
***
Ocean was getting dressed this morning and poked himself in the nipple.
Ocean: I have milk in my breasts to feed Iris.
Me: You don't really have breasts. You have a chest and those are your nipples.
Ocean: And they're full of PEE!
***
We were sitting on the porch today at lunch time with my friend Amber and her daughter. Phil stopped in for a bit and Ocean was showing him his game of throw the imaginary poopy diaper away. Ocean bumped his arm and said, "Crap! That hurt!" Phil just raised his eyebrow at me in disgust and judgment. All I'm gonna say to that is, people in crap houses full of crap shouldn't throw crap. In other words: pot, meet kettle. (But about 5 minutes later I'm reasonably certain that I accidentally taught Ocean how to deal drugs. So suddenly him saying "crap" doesn't seem so bad.)
***
And here's a special installment I'll call "I Never Envisioned Myself Saying This, Ever." :
"No, I don't want to smell it, Ocean. Especially if it's 'pppeeeeeeeeeyoooouuuu stinky.'"

march for babies

This Sunday I'm walking in the March of Dimes March For Babies on Nora and Ryan's team. I joined the team a month or so ago but because I'm the biggest procrastinator evah I'm just now posting it here.

I'm going to match donations up to a total of $200, so even if you can only give $5 it will really be like $10.

If you love babies, will you consider making a donation to our team? And if you don't love babies, there's something wrong with you. Seriously. But as a former baby, please consider giving anyway.

Thank you, friends.

hmmm... how to respond?

Gynocologist, after my annual exam: Nice to see you again.

Me: Uhhhhh...

chicago pics